A Simple Autumn: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel Read online

  When his dull whine gave way to giggles, and he stopped squirming, he looked up at her, his eyes twinkling with sleepiness. “A book?” he asked.

  “We can read lots of books.” Her heart was full as she carried him up the stairs, with Sunny following on her heels. She let Mark toddle around the room to pick out his favorite bedtime stories as she and Sunny sat by the crib, just watching. Such a busy boy. He opened each book and spoke a language that only he understood, but that was the beauty of being a child.

  “All right, dear one.” She picked him up, kissed his soft cheek, and lowered him into his crib. Mark lay on his side, watching her as she pulled the chair close and began to read.

  She turned the pages, her eyes barely skimming the words.

  I know these books by heart!

  Of course she did. All these nights of reading to her nephews, the stories had become nighttime lullabies. Sunny yawned. Even the dog could have recited the stories if she knew how to talk.

  Annie held the book up to the crib to show Mark a picture, but he had fallen asleep. A golden ringlet of hair fell over his forehead, and the lantern light caught the milky glow of his skin.

  Sorrow was heavy on her heart. Not just the pain of saying good-bye. Watching little Mark sleep, she suddenly understood why Sarah’s departure was hitting her so hard. Mark and Levi were the center of her life … but they weren’t her children.

  Her throat felt tight with emotion over her own sad state.

  Oh, why had she wasted so much time waiting on Adam? She should be married by now, with children of her own. Instead, folks were calling her an old maid.

  Twenty years old, and no marriage on the horizon.

  A whimper escaped her throat, and she curled forward as warm tears flooded her eyes.

  Dear Gott, in my heart I know You made me to be a mother … to have children. This is my gift. Why can’t I find my way to the right path?

  After having a good cry last night, Annie felt stronger when she got out of bed Friday morning. She was determined to make it through the good-bye without tears. Right now Sarah needed her support, and she didn’t want to be the cause of more sadness for her sister.

  If it weren’t for the cartons blocking the living room, the day would have seemed like any other. Levi and Mark helped Annie fetch eggs and feed the chickens, then they headed over to bottle-feed the bummer lamb, who had taken to following around Sunny, the family dog.

  “Your little lamb thinks it’s a dog,” Dat said, pausing in his chores. “When I went into the barn this morning, I found the lamb sleeping beside Sunny, nestled up in the crook of her belly.” His eyes twinkled as he recalled the sight.

  “Aw!” Levi’s brows shot up as he cooed over the lamb. “Were you looking for your mamm? Don’t you know you’re not a dog?”

  Mark leaned forward to stroke the lamb, mimicking his older cousin. “Not a dog,” he echoed.

  Annie took a deep breath, sure that Gott was making the children extra sweet today so she would have more moments to cherish in her memories.

  When they returned to the house, the white van was parked out front, its doors hanging open. Boxes sat on the ground near the rear cargo area. Perry and the driver were trying to figure out what to load first, while Dat, Daniel, and Jonah carried more cartons and bags out of the house.

  “Look at the big car!” Levi stared in wonder. “Can I have a ride in it?”

  “Not today.” Annie scooped up Mark and put a hand on Levi’s shoulder to keep him away from the commotion. “That van is for Mark and his parents. They’re going off to their new home in New York.”

  Levi frowned. “I don’t want them to go.”

  “I don’t either,” Annie said, watching as the boxes disappeared into the back of the big van. She had thought she’d be upset by the sight of the vehicle, but there was too much excitement in the air to feel sad. “Let’s go into the kitchen and get out of the men’s way.” She steered Levi around to the side door.

  Sarah stood in the doorway, nervously watching the men, while Mamm fussed over a tin of cookies she was packing for the trip.

  “Would you rather have chocolate-chip or cranberry-walnut?” Lovina asked.

  “I don’t know,” Sarah said, still peeking into the living room.

  “Mamm …” Rebecca looked up from her knitting. “I’m sure they have cookies in New York.”

  “But they have a long trip. Don says it’s six and a half hours.”

  Annie shuddered at the thought. She couldn’t imagine traveling so far from home. Six and a half hours by automobile would take days to travel by horse and carriage. She took a seat beside Rebecca and pulled Mark onto her lap for some last-minute cuddling.

  “I wonder what kind of cookies Don likes,” mused Lovina. Don was a local Mennonite man whom Annie’s family hired to drive long distances.

  “Well, if they’re hungry, they’ll be wanting more than cookies,” Rebecca said dryly.

  “That’s why I packed them a cooler of sandwiches and apples.” Mamm pressed the cover onto the tin and brought it to Sarah. “Do you have the sandwiches I made for you?”

  “I put them on the seat of the van, so they’ll be handy once we get going.”

  Lovina handed Sarah the tin. “Good thinking.”

  “That’s it.” Perry appeared in the doorway, his face flushed with excitement. “The van is packed. I guess it’s good-bye for now.”

  Annie held tight to Mark, not wanting to let him go.

  “Kumm, give me a hug.” Lovina took Sarah into her arms. “I’m missing you already, but I’m excited for you, too.”

  “Denki, Mamm.” Sarah was all smiles.

  Suddenly, everyone was moving out the door, hugging and kissing, surrounding the van. Annie blinked, loving the excitement but feeling as if she were caught in a dream. This couldn’t be real. Someone lifted Mark from her arms, and she lunged to kiss his cheek before he was buckled into a fancy padded child seat in the van.

  When Sarah hugged her, Annie sank against her sister and held on tight. She wanted to hold on forever! But suddenly Sarah drew in a thin breath and leaned back. Her blue eyes caught Annie’s in that no-nonsense way Sarah was known for.

  “The offer is always open,” Sarah said. “Come live with us in New York.” Sarah lowered her voice and added, “We’ll find you a proper beau there.”

  A proper beau …

  Right now a husband was the answer to Annie’s prayers, but she couldn’t imagine giving up her home to find him. That would be like robbing Peter to pay Paul.

  “Promise me you’ll think about coming to Lowville,” Sarah pleaded.

  Unable to trust her voice, Annie could only nod. She would give it some thought.

  Doors slammed. Sunny barked and circled the van, sensing that something was up. Last farewells rang out through open windows, and then the engine roared.

  As the van rolled down the lane, Annie forced a smile. Tonight, after the lights were out, she would cry a river of tears in her bed. But for now it was best to be strong and try to look on the bright side. Mamm always said that joy came to those with a joyful heart. Well … she would try for joy.

  The van was hidden by trees now, but no one turned away yet. Dat and Mamm stood side by side, as did Daniel and Rebecca.

  In that moment Annie felt the strength of the two couples’ love and commitment, and she ached with loneliness. She was next in line to marry, and she would probably be sewing her wedding dress now if she hadn’t made such a foolish choice about Adam King. So many years of courtship wasted. After all this time it was no surprise that there were few unattached men her age in their district.

  Angry with herself, she drew in a deep breath and turned to see Jonah with Levi hitched up on his shoulders. The little boy was waving madly from six feet in the sky.

  She put her hands on her hips. “You grew up fast, Levi.”

  “I can see everything from up here,” he said, his chipmunk voice full of awe. “Is this what God sees?
”

  Laughter broke the tension as Jonah hoisted Levi higher, then lowered him gently to the ground.

  “That was fun.” Levi adjusted his hat, looking up at Jonah. “I’d like to do that again sometime.”

  There was no match for the pure honesty of a child. With a surge of love, Annie swept toward the little boy. “Now that your cousin’s gone, I’ll have to get double the kisses from you.”

  “No!” Levi cried, dodging her. He ran in a circle and hid behind Jonah’s legs.

  Hands on hips, Annie faced the two of them. “I’m going to get you. I’m going to hug you and kiss you till your eyes bulge out!”

  “No!” Levi giggled. “Save me, Jonah! Help me!”

  Sunny barked, wanting in on the chasing game.

  “Come on,” Annie teased. “Just one little kiss?”

  Jonah looked down at Levi, then at Annie, his face serious now. “I was hoping you were talking to me,” he told Annie.

  That stopped her. She blinked up at him, feeling unsure until he cracked a smile and everyone laughed.

  She caught Levi, glad to turn away from everyone as she thought about what Jonah had just said. The man had some sense of humor! The Quiet One was clever once you got to know him.

  And where was Hannah in all this?

  Annie sighed as she hugged her nephew. When it came to matchmaking for those two, she had a lot of work ahead.

  TWENTY

  Disappointment clung to him. It was a bitter taste in the back of his throat that couldn’t be washed down by all the lemonade Hannah Stoltzfus had tried to bring him.

  Jonah reined in his horse at the top of the lane to check the main road for traffic. He let a truck and two cars go by before nudging Jigsaw ahead. The horse picked up his pace. Jonah figured he knew that home was the next stop, and he let him settle into an easy trot. Jigsaw had been a gift from Jonah’s parents when he was sixteen, an age when most Amish parents let their son choose an animal to make his own. Now, all these years later, Jonah sometimes got the feeling that his horse could read his mind.

  Unlike some people he knew.

  All this week he’d thought that Annie knew just what he was thinking. But it seemed she thought he was thinking of her sister Hannah instead of her. He passed a row of trees in fiery colors. Beyond the trees, Aaron Stoltzfus’s fields of mowed hay stretched out, gentle hills dotted by rectangular bales of hay.

  One day next week Jonah would bring his brothers over, along with any other neighbor men willing to help, and they’d scour the fields, loading the horse-drawn cart with bales—forty or fifty at a time. It was hard work, but when they were done Aaron would have enough hay in storage to feed his horses through the winter. Now that Jonah had taken the job with Aaron he was committed to helping him, though it wouldn’t be easy with Annie always nearby, always pushing Hannah toward him.

  And just a few days ago, he’d had such high hopes.

  He urged the horse into a gallop, wanting to escape the day, run from the past week of false hope and misunderstanding.

  His first hint that he’d gotten it wrong with Annie was the fact that she kept darting away from him like a delicate butterfly. The few times she came close, she always made a point of telling him something about Hannah: how she had baked these cinnamon rolls that morning, that she was bringing him hot coffee, or that he could find her in the garden after lunch. Always, it was about Hannah.

  He’d sensed that something was off early on, but it took him a few days to see her plan. She was pairing him off with Hannah, a sweet girl, but not the girl for him.

  He came up on a slow-moving carriage, passed it, and flew ahead.

  This morning, when he came out of the barn and saw the sun rising in the east, flaming gold over the bright trees and shining on the low-lying mist, he knew he had to tell Annie the truth. Even if she laughed in his face, it was better to put the truth out there than to live a lie.

  He had wanted to tell her today. He’d been ready, but the look on her face when she saw the men loading the van had stopped him in his tracks. Although Annie had kept her chin up with a smile on her face, Jonah had seen the sorrow in her eyes. He could tell her heart was aching, and he couldn’t bear to make her feel any worse.

  While helping to load the van he had overheard Sarah talking with Annie. Sarah had said that she should come to New York to find a beau, and Annie had said she’d think about it.

  That was salt on the wound. It was bad enough longing for Annie from nearby. Losing her to a settlement hundreds of miles away would shatter any hope of ever winning her heart.

  They came to a four-way stop and Jigsaw slowed to a trot, then paused with barely a twitch of the reins. The horse seemed to understand traffic laws, but Jonah figured it was probably force of habit. They turned left and headed down the final stretch toward home.

  Jonah sighed at the thought of telling Annie his feelings. He’d made a joke about it after the van left, hoping that Annie would pick up on it, but no, she hadn’t. He would probably have to spell everything out very carefully. Open his heart. Brace himself for the answer she was bound to give.

  A flat no.

  He grunted. Tomorrow would be soon enough for that bad news.

  When he rose over the last hill and looked at the two silos of their farm, he thanked Gott for the good feeling of coming home. Whatever the world handed him, he was grateful to have a good, loving family to return to.

  The lawn needed mowing and weeds spilled over onto the lane. Next week, the whole family would pitch in to make the farm neat and tidy for Sunday’s church service. Preparation would take a day or two, but it was always a good reason to make the house spic-and-span once a year.

  On the side of the house, Mary had set a kitchen chair in the yard for haircuts. Sam sat there, bobbing like a pickle in a barrel. Jonah grinned. Mary had her work cut out for her with that one.

  By the time he’d unsaddled Jigsaw and set him out to pasture, he saw that Mary had a new customer. Simon sat there, his lips pursed, a towel over his shoulders as she tried to even out the line of his hair.

  “Stay still,” Mary said softly. “We just need to cut over your eyes and then you’re finished.”

  The scissors snipped along Simon’s brow, sending glittery hairs into the air.

  “It itches.” He waited until she leaned back, then furiously rubbed his nose.

  “That’s one way to get it off.” Mary slid the towel from Simon’s shoulders and shook it out. “You’re done. You can go back to training your horse.”

  Simon let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t like haircuts.”

  “Then be glad yours is done.” Mary turned to Jonah and patted the top of the chair. “You’re next.”

  “I don’t like haircuts either.”

  She frowned. “I don’t like lima beans, but I eat them. Have a seat and don’t complain about it. You need a trim. Or else you’ll have to move to the stables.”

  Reluctantly, he sat in the chair and braced himself.

  “Don’t look so worried. So far I haven’t taken an ear off anybody.”

  “So far.” He frowned. “But that wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me lately.”

  “Why are you so glum?” Mary asked, the scissors whooshing at the back of his neck. “That’s not like you, Jonah, especially after the smiles we’ve seen these past few days.”

  “Nothing is going right today,” he admitted.

  Mary came around to face him, hands on her hips. “Is this about Annie?”

  He nodded.

  “What is she doing now?”

  “It’s not really her fault. But it’s a tangled mess, and I don’t know how I walked right into it with my eyes open.” He told Mary how Annie had come to him saying that someone was sweet on him. “I was sure it was Annie herself, and that’s why I was walking on clouds a few days ago.”

  “But you found out it wasn’t Annie?” Mary squinted at him. “Who is it?”

  “Her sister Hanna
h. Annie has been trying to get us together. She’s been playing matchmaker. Only I’m not sweet on Hannah. So now I’ve got to tell Annie that I’m not going to court her sister, and she’s not going to like me at all once I dump that bit of bad news on her doorstep.”

  She laughed, but her dark eyes were full of sympathy. “Oh, Jonah! You’ve hit so many twists and turns on your path to find a good and fitting wife.”

  He grunted. “It’s not a wife I want, and I won’t settle for good and kind. I’m holding out for one girl. She’s good and kind, all right. She’s just not sweet on me.” He turned to look up at his sister.

  “You’d better hold still if you don’t want your hair to look like it was cut with a handsaw.”

  He frowned, staring off at a section of yellow trees along the lane. It had probably been foolish to hold out for one girl. Foolish and stubborn. But Jonah just couldn’t see it any other way. He closed his eyes as the scissors moved over his forehead. “Do you think I’m selfish?”

  “Not selfish, but stubborn as a mule.” Mary cut through a dense crop of hair. “And with Annie being stubborn in her own way, she’s not likely to figure out her mistake. Do you want me to talk to her? I have a knack for saying things nice and gentle. I can set things right.”

  “No,” Jonah insisted. “And don’t say a word to anyone else, especially Adam. He doesn’t have real fond memories of Annie.”

  Mary leaned back to scrutinize his hair. “You don’t have to worry about Adam. He’s put the past behind him. These days, he’s able to see the good in everyone. That’s the blessing of love.”

  The blessing of love …

  Mary was right. Love was not something you earned, but a blessing from Gott in heaven. It was not a broken pipe he could weld together or a field he could till and tend and harvest. It was out of his hands. Jonah knew that was true, but he didn’t like that at all.

  TWENTY-ONE

  At last, he’d made it back.

  Although it had been a week since he’d been on a bike, once Gabe swung his leg over and grabbed the handlebars, it all came back to him. The way his fingers slid into the molded grips, the curve of the seat—it all fit him perfectly.